


To Steve / To Bucky

by park3rborn



Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Diary/Journal, Letters, Love Letters, M/M, sad and gay the stucky way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-02 08:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13314039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/park3rborn/pseuds/park3rborn
Summary: Written at the lovely hour of 4:30am quite a few years ago. Inspired by twitter feeds.Bucky and Steve write letters that they'll never send.





	To Steve / To Bucky

Dear Bucky,

 

My therapist said it would be good for me to write to you, even if you never read it. 

I hope you read these some day. 

I miss you.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Steve,

 

I wonder if you ever think about me. I  do. Every. Damn. Day.

 

Bucky

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

I have made some new friends at the Avengers tower. That's what they call us. (myself, a scientist technology guy named Tony Stark, an archer named Clint Barton, a Jeckyll+Hyde guy named Bruce Banner and Hulk (I like them), a Russian assassin called Natasha Romanoff, and -get this- a god named Thor.)

Tony is really full of himself but I know it's only skin deep. I think Clint and Natasha had a fling at some point.

Bruce is very kind. He does a lot of yoga because he has to keep his heart rate below a certain number or else he "Hulks" out. The Hulk isn't the brightest. But he isn't a bad guy.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Steve,

 

I killed a man today.

I'm falling apart.

I need you to hold me tonight. Just tonight.

 

Bucky

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

There was a queer pride event in New York City today. People call it Gay Pride now.

You would have enjoyed it.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Steve,

 

I spent fourteen hours in a flight to Moscow. They're suspiciously silent about the purpose of this trip.

 

Bucky

* * *

 

Steve,

 

They've upgraded my arm. They're training me to become a weapon. 

I'm losing myself, Steve.

 

Bucky

* * *

Dear Bucky,

 

Where are you?

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

I wonder how long I'll live. I should be almost 80 by this point. I don't physically feel old. I've seen so much.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

S,

 

All I can feel is pain. How long will I live?

 

JB

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

I don't even know if you're alive. You should be dead. Selfishness in me hopes you're still alive. I need someone to relate to. 

Please be alive and well.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

 

32/53 targets eliminated.

 

JB

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

Stark had a panic attack today. I had to him him through it. It reminded me of the earlier days when I still had anxiety. 

Do you remember that time at the restaurant when I got so bad I passed out?

It was nearly that bad.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Steve,

 

They're trying to erase my memories. I couldn't kill 39. It all came back. I'm going to forget you.

Always know that I love you.

Please come get me soon. I can't forget. I'd rather die.

 

Don't forget me. Don't forget us. 

Bucky

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

We have intel on a guy called the Winter Soldier. I hope it isn't, but it sounds like it might be you.

Be safe.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

Steve,

 

I'm hiding these letters before they realize I've been writing you. 

I can't say it enough: I love you. I love you. I love you, Steve.

You're the best thing that has happened to me and don't forget it.

Come get me already.

 

Love,

Bucky

* * *

Dear Bucky,

 

They're planning on eliminating the Winter Soldier. I'm going to take Stark and Natasha and get to the bottom of this before anyone sends in assassins.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

I've convinced Natasha to come with me. Stark might take more encouragement.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

Tony is joining me. He said it wasn't a big deal. I think it has to do with his panic attack a while ago.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

Footage has confirmed it. It's you. I don't know what happened but the bastards who did this to you will pay. I will get you back to me if it kills me.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Dear Bucky, 

 

Tony has a private plane. I'm coming.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

It's 6:30AM and I haven't slept. The skyline is beautiful at sunrise. It will be even more beautiful when I'm with you. 

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

Natasha has managed to locate you. I'm half hoping it isn't you at all and we can just kill the Winter Soldier. 

When is it ever easy?

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

Dammit.

* * *

Dear Bucky,

 

I found a stack of letters in your "room" labelled "To Steve". I won't open them, I'm sorry we have you locked up. I'm so sorry this even happened.

Tony said I should give you time.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

Why can't you just trust me? What did they do to you?

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

Bucky,

 

Your captors are suspicious and so is Nick Fury (the director). I'm about to give up.

 

Steve

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

I gave you your letters back today. I pray that it helps you somehow. You've stopped screaming, so maybe that's a good sign. I just want you back.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

 _In a rough, unpracticed hand_.

 

Steve,

 

Thank You for the Letters. I am remembering sLowLy and in sNatches. 

I'm trying, Steve.

 

x Bucky

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

Surveillance cams say you're writing more letters. I'm glad. It seems like another good sign. I might try to talk to you tomorrow.

I love you. Stay strong, Buck.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

Natasha said it could take years for you to fully recover. And she said it was a maybe. So I think we should make new memories now. It'll be fun, especially now that you seem to be remembering a little more.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Steve,

 

Talking to you was hard today. I keep getting flashbacks during our conversations. I'm sorry. Your idea for a date is cute. I know that old Bucky loved you but I don't know if the me right now loves you.

 

Bucky

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

I really want to ask you what happened and about the letters. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or stressed out, though. I hope you liked the park.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Steve,

 

I remember.

 

I am so sorry.

 

Bucky

* * *

Dear Bucky,

 

My God, how did we ever get here...

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Steve,

 

I need to tell you.

 

Bucky

* * *

 

Dear Bucky,

 

I swear I will never let that happen to you ever again. You will never be alone. Never again.

 

Love,

Steve

* * *

 

Steve,

 

I love you. Now, then, forever.

 

Love,

Bucky

* * *

 

Bucky,

 

I have always loved you.

 

Love,

Steve

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
